Comments on: how grief can affect relationships

By: Iggy

Iggy — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Partner said a vile thing to me when my sister died

By: John

John — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister lost her husband one year ago after being married for 10 years. She has never been an easy person to get along with even before his passing and it has not gotten any easier. She frequently makes me feel like I am not doing enough for her and her children. There is definitely a feeling in my heart like I can do more. The fact of the matter is I work six days a week 12 to 14 hour days and have a family of my own that I try to spend as much time with as possible. I don’t know how I can make her happy or make her realize that I am trying to be there as much as I can for her and her three kids whom I love more than words can say. I feel like she has not grieved in an appropriate manner or in any manner. I feel like when she lashes out at me and tells me that I have made false promises for being there for her and her family is part of her grieving. I’m not sure if expectations of what I am supposed to be doing for her are too high or if I am lacking In effort to help her. I’m looking for some advice as to how I can manage my relationship with my Sister as well as my nieces and nephew. I feel her pulling away I don’t know what else I can do. There’s nothing more I would rather do than be there every day Spending time with her and the kids but I just don’t have the time. What can I do.

By: Shrimp

Shrimp — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My husband passed from cancer at home , I loved him and we both went through a lot together . I grieved him at the time . I struggled to cope but mentally and physically . I was lonely after he died and made a few new friends . M sister in law told me I had pushed her away and said things to hurt her l I don’t remember , I was just trying to cope with the eminent death of my soul mate . I know how hard it was , how hard it was to cope . Yet I got through l my sister in law after was very hateful towards me telling people that I took time off away from him . That simply was not true . I’m to be married again am very happy but my husbands family want nothing to do with me . It hurt me deeply but I need to just get over it all .

By: Louise159

Louise159 — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hello my sister is 25 years old and has just lost her partner of 7 years he had a very rear hard condition and has suffered for the past 2 years my sister has been his soul carer through it all till the end. She is really struggling to deal with the grief she’s in so much pain I have had her move in with me and my family so she isn’t alone. I’m not sure wot else I can do i have surgested we speak to some one who can help but I don’t think she’s ready. Any help you can advise would be grateful. X

By: Heidi

Heidi — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister has been really nasty to me after the death of my husband of 43years. I found her cruel, and would not let me sit beside her after the funeral. She barely keeps in contact with me, never visits me, and never gets together at Christmas but I feel she uses me for holidays only. Should I allow her to go on holidays with me Or should I avoid her ?? I feel it for my daughters they are missing having her as family!!

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister lost her husband of 43 years to cancer. 7 months before that we lost our mother. I still struggle with both loses but with my sister she is really having a hard time. I try to stay strong for her. Sometimes not really knowing what to say. How can I help her get through this. We are very close and we are best friends. And tips will help

By: Clare

Clare — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister lost her husband April 2018, he had just turned 40 my sister 30. Almost 10 years of marriage. They decided not to have children and focused mainly on themselves and enjoying the life they had built together. My sister had loved him since she was 12 years old. He was a huge part of our family and a devastating loss to everyone. We are all struggling to come to terms with the loss but for my sister her life has come to a complete stand still, she is heartbroken. She has a very supportive family and large circle of friends but there is nothing we can say or do to comfort her, all she wants is him. I think the only thing we can do is wait for time to some how heal the pain. He was such a wonderful man and they made a beautiful couple. Never one had anyone anticipated he would be gone so soon. It is our first Christmas without him this year, I can’t begin to imagine how my sister will feel or what I can do to support her.

By: FacingBereavement

FacingBereavement — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Sam - Your Question:

My sister lost her husband 2 months ago to cancer. He fired on their 21st wedding anniversary. My sister in I live 500 miles apart. Before her husband died he bought her and their son ,daughter in law and grandson a house.my sister and her husband lived downstairs and her son and family upstairs.my sister and everyone else love the arrangements. I was ther re for my sister at funeral wake etc etc- what I'm doing now is sending her a thinking of you card a couple times a month I send tons of text.but what really bothers me is when I call she hurries and gets off phone she hasn't talked to me on the phone in the last 2 months I want to say no more than 1 hour. And she never talks about her husband who died.i m so worried I know she has her son for help- please is there anything I can do??Help please!!!!

Our Response:

Maybe it's too early for her to talk about this? Or perhaps she doesn't want to talk on the phone. Have you talked to her son/your nephew about this? Perhaps it's worth giving him a call and asking him how she's doing on a day to day basis?

By: Sam

Sam — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister lost her husband 2 months ago to cancer. He fired on their 21st wedding anniversary. My sister in I live 500 miles apart. Before her husband died he bought her and their son ,daughter in law and grandson a house .my sister and her husband lived downstairs and her son and family upstairs.my sister and everyone else love the arrangements. I was ther re for my sister at funeral wake etc etc- what I’m doing now is sending her a thinking of you card a couple times a month I send tons of text.but what really bothers me is when I call she hurries and gets off phone she hasn’t talked to me on the phone in the last 2 months I want to say no more than 1 hour. And she never talks about her husband who died.i m so worried I know she has her son for help- please is there anything I can do??Help please!!!!

By: Gina

Gina — Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My sister’s husband passed away 4 months ago. I live in another state. I was there when he passes. I held his hand and the family prayed. She has three children 21, 22, and 26. This has been devastasting for them. I assisted my sister with all the planning. It was a beautiful service. One month later my brother in law’s mom pasted away. My sister and I stayed with for 2 1/2 days as we knew the end was near. We didn’t want her to be alone. Again I helped my sister plan the service. After six weeks I had to return home for appts. I could no longer delay. Now that my sister and I are apart our communication is many by phone. She usually cries and is distraught. I end up crying too. When the call ends I weep inconsolably. I am sad for the lost, my heart breaks for my sister and I worry about the kids. I get depressed. I worry. I get anxious. I want my old sister back. I know this takes time. She did attend a 6 week bereavement group. I was proud of her for going. I have suggested seeing therapist and maybe an antidepressant. We all know I can’ make her do anything. She’s an adult. She is inundated trying execute her mother in laws estate. I just don’t know what do. I listen. I cry. I worry. I get depressed. Does any one have advice or insight? Thank you!