2021/2022 What to wear to a funeral – outfit ideas & colours to avoid

What are the rules for dressing at a funeral?

Every funeral is different, but the most important rule is that the day is not a time for your outfit to make a statement (unless requested by your host!).  The general rule of thumb is to wear something black, formal, not too revealing, and preferably something relatively comfortable as chances are you’ll be seated for quite a long time.

Every person has different requests when it comes to their funeral, and nowadays, there are a lot of non-traditional funerals that encourage celebrating life over the mourning of death. For some less traditional services, your host may ask you to wear bright colors, something that reminds you of the deceased or the deceased’s favorite color.

This sort of information will usually be sent out to attendees before the date- but do not assume anything! If there is no specific instruction otherwise, stick to black formal clothing.

The best rule of thumb is to dress as you would for a semi-formal job interview- you want to be clean, well-groomed, and wearing smart clothing that you feel comfortable in. It is about making a good impression rather than showing off your personality. 

What is appropriate to Wear to a funeral?

Above all, follow your host’s wishes. Read any directions carefully if there are any given- you’ll feel most at ease if you know you are prepared in advance and have an outfit you are comfortable in that you don’t have to think about. The idea is to blend in at a funeral not stand out so dress according to your host’s standards, not your own. 

Formal Services

What you wear will also be determined by where you are going. If you know the location is upper class or the family would appreciate you dressing up, go in a formal, well-fitted suit for a man, or modest dress or suit for a woman. Don’t forget about your shoes! Be sure to wear appropriate shoes that are well polished and in dark colors, preferably black if that is the color of your outfit.  

Outdoor Funerals

Most services have an outdoor element or take place in a well-ventilated and often chilly building. Be sure to wear an appropriately formal jacket in dark colors or black if needed as this is part of your look too. There is no point putting in all the effort of dressing formally and appropriately to ruin it with a tatty coat that looks out of place.

It is likewise not ideal to forgo the coat all together as shivering your way through the service will distract yourself and others from the person you are paying tribute to. If you know the service is outdoors or involves going through a field or grassy cemetery, steer clear of high stilettos or heels you can’t walk in as you don’t want to get stuck in the mud or have to worry about walking a long way in ill-fitting shoes.

Above all, dress for the weather and carry a suitable umbrella if there’s a chance of rain. 

Men’s Funeral Outfit Ideas

1. Formal Suit– you don’t need to go in a full-on tuxedo, but a polished black suit that fits you well with matching shoes is the go-to men’s funeral outfit. Make sure your shoes are well polished, not scuffed, and are comfy enough that you can walk long stretches in them 
2. Suit trousers, button-up shirt, dark tie, and neat pullover– opt for black or muted colors and follow your instincts. If you think something is too out-there or bold, hold back and find a darker option. Steer clear of any loud patterns, bright colors, or tatty jumpers. 
3. Smart casual shirt with matching jacket and pants– these don’t necessarily have to be suit pants, but steer clear of jeans or lighter colored chinos. Stick to navy blue or black colors, you can add a lighter colored shirt as long as it’s not too garish or bold. 
4. Dark Patterned Suit with Black or Navy Pea Coat– A pattered suit is acceptable as long as it’s not too bold- think navy or black checks. Pair with a warm pea coat or dress jacket in either navy or black.

Do’s and Don’ts for Men’s Funeral wear

Be clean- No matter how informal the invitation suggests, don’t wear your jogging bottoms or anything dirty. You want to be comfortable, but nothing will make you less comfortable than a room full of people looking at the lack of effort you’ve put into your clothing. 

Steer clear of your sneakers- no matter how expensive, opt for classic dress shoes or polished up black boots. 

Don’t overthink it- the best rule of thumb is to wear something you’d find appropriate for an office-based job interview. Stick to dark colors, ironed clothes, an inoffensive tie and you’re good to go. 

I’ve put together a few more women’s funeral outfits as men’s options are a little simpler to navigate- a dark suit with a neat coat is a perfect choice if you’re worried about overthinking it. 

Women’s Funeral Outfit Ideas

5. Knee-length black dress with modest heels Avoid a heel you can’t walk in, go for flats, or an appropriate heel that you can walk through a cemetery with if there is an outdoor element to the service.  
6. Black Turtleneck with smart black trousers and black boots– all black makes a great silhouette that you can feel classy and comfy in and you won’t second guess your choices on the day. It’s no longer frowned upon for women to not wear dresses to formal occasions, as long as you are wearing smart and ironed clothing. Pair with simple jewelry- now is not the time to get out the statement hoops.  
7. Black or Grey blouse with A-line skirt– Wearing a high-neck shirt will make you feel comfortable on the day- try to avoid any clingy material as the last thing you want to think about is sweating or uncomfortable fabric.
8. Dark Pinafore over Blouse with heeled boots– Opt for a black pinafore in a sensible length. You can pair this with a lighter-colored blouse but stick to muted pastels or white rather than anything bright or garish. Stick to black boots and pair them with tights if you know it’ll be a long service or chilly weather.
9. Knee-length skirt and sweater– Opt for a muted colored sweater in navy, grey or black and team it with a black skirt and tights. Steer clear of any sweaters with bobbles or rips, or tights with nicks and ladders.
10. Black Bell Sleeved dress– If you’re worried about length, pair it with thick black tights to avoid any unwanted flashes. The main aim is for you to feel comfortable and unassuming in a crowd, so opt for something lower- think lower-thigh to over-knee-length. 
11. Black Shift Dress with smart pumps– Don’t go for style over comfort- you’ll be there for a long time and if you’re not comfortable in heels it’ll show. Pair your flats with a high necked shift dress for a summer funeral. Light fabrics will keep you feeling your best in higher temperatures. 
12. Black body-con dress with ankle boots– You can still have a figure-hugging dress as long as you are careful with the cut and length. Keep necklines high and skirts to knee-length especially if you’re going for a tighter silhouette. 
13. Navy or Black business dress suit– As with men’s funeral outfits, the best rule of thumb is to go with whatever would be acceptable for an office-based job interview. Keep hemlines low, jewelry minimal, and outfits dark-colored. 

Do’s and Don’ts for Women’s Funeral Outfits

Err on the side of caution with your hemlines- You want to wear something flattering but make sure you dress conservatively, even if it’s not you’re preferred style. If you have any doubts, you can team your look with some opaque black tights. 

Dress for the weather- funerals tend to be long events and it’s a good idea to wear either a thick suit blazer or neat dark coat if it’s going to get chilly later in the day. 

Accessorize wisely- stick to gold or silver jewelry in simple designs. Black sunglasses are absolutely acceptable if they are weather-appropriate. Similarly, black or dark-colored scarves and hats are absolutely fine. 

Keep it neat- You’ll feel your best if your shoes are polished, your clothes ironed and your hair groomed. 

Stay comfortable- funerals are usually long events with a lot of standing on your feet. Heels are not mandatory either- opt for something you can walk around in and layer up your clothes with colour appropriate pieces like cardigans or extra tights. 

You don’t have to wear all-black- There’s a bit of freedom in the color palette. Dark greys, burgundies, navy, and dark green are all typical funeral attire but if you’re feeling flustered, just go with black- it’s a tried and true safe option.