Writing A Eulogy For Dad
Whatever age you are, losing a father you loved is heartbreaking. And writing a eulogy to him may be met by bouts of anxiety, panic and distress. You want to do right by him, and yet, you are too grieved and have no idea where to start. Well, do not worry for you are not alone. Below we have outlined some ideas for taking on this task and have also produced some eulogy examples to help inspire you and your eulogy for your Dad.
What is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a speech given by someone when their loves one dies. The speech outlines the highest point in the deceased person’s life. If your nerves are acting up right now, take a deep breath, close your eyes and let your mind wander. Think about all the good times you have had and all the times he had touched your life. Let your mind linger on the good times and the times that make you smile quietly. Take note of those memories that make you smile or weep with a little happiness. The memorable ones.
You can then pen down all the memorable things and memories you have had with your dad, or record them on your phone. Or if that’s too much, you can just lay back and brainstorm silently. Focus on things that made you feel connected to him and not his academic or life achievements.
Ideas for Your Father’s Eulogy
It’s okay if you find yourself rambling on the first take. Let it all out, talk about everything that reminds you of your father. His favorite song, his best food, football clubs he supported or anything and your strongest memory of him. Write down what first jumps to your mind when your father’s name is mentioned and how it makes you feel.
Take yourself back to your firsts, the first time you did certain things together, the first time you went to see a particular movie or show together and how all those memories flooding back makes you feel.
If you are writing his eulogy, that means you were connected in some way. While you are thinking or just jotting down random things, think of what light you want to portray your father in. What do you wish to use and define him? Was it kindness, humor, patience, wisdom or fun-loving and just unique that defines him?
Whatever direction that you wish to go, try recalling the incidents that made your mind go that way. Was he fun-loving? Then you can think of some jokes or funny incidents that show him in that light.
Dig deep and do not be scared to explore everything. It’s ok if you are having trouble trying to decide which theme to use as your father’s eulogy. If recalling your past with him makes you cry and laugh then you might want to go with a funny man theme.
The memories that are flooding in, do they remind you of how many times you witnessed him show kindness to a loved one or stranger or you have a lot of things he said to you have changed the way you thought? If so, your theme might be both kind and wise.
Preparing a Written Eulogy
Now it’s time to do the actual writing. Some people may prefer to deliver the eulogy from memory while others from a written source. Whatever you decide is fine but bear in mind that grief makes memories unreliable, and you may get up in front of everyone and feel completely blank even if it has never happened to you before. At this point, you have a slight idea of what you want to say to celebrate your dad and have decided on a theme for your eulogy or have some thoughts scribbled down or a voice recording. So where do you start?
Organising Your Thoughts
You can organize your eulogy with ideas. If the theme was that your dad was kind and wise or a successful businessman, you may want to start by arranging those ideas in that order, the incidents of that make him what you say and a conclusion. You can also start from a to z. Start this approach by talking about his childhood, teenage years, adulthood, fatherhood in that order. Pick some stories, some memories that you think captures or summarizes what he meant to you and write about them. And remember, to tell the audience your name and relation with your father.
“My name is Jane and I am the only female child my dad had such that no matter how grown I was, I was always his little girl. No matter how far away I was, we were always a team”
It’s time to start amassing those thoughts and keeping in line with your theme. You can follow that with a clause like “My father was…” avoid using words like good or decent and go with words like what you think makes him good or decent. While mentioning life achievements is fine, focus more on his human nature and character. What captures his essence? For example, my father was an energetic man with a passion for life.
How to Make an Eulogy for Dad Funny
You can pick a tone depending on who you are, how you feel or who your father was. If he was fun and loved jokes then you might decide to write the eulogy on a lighter note with some slight jokes. Nothing heavy, you do not want to seem to be mocking the dead. Tell a story, nothing emulates someone like a story so try to include some short stories about your time with your father or some famous passed down stories from when he was younger.
Mentioning Your Father’s Death
Depending on what took his life, you can talk about his death. You must not try to be too philosophical about it; death sucks and does not always have meaning. It’s ok to admit that. If he battled with an illness then you may want to mention the illness very briefly. And think of your last moments with him and what they were like or meant. If his death was sudden (all deaths are sudden, but if it was like an accident that claimed his life), then you can refer to the last time you spoke, or your last significant memory together.
It can be something small, like you went to lunch together. The little details make it more real. You can then talk about lessons learned, what being your father’s child has taught you so far. Try not to focus on regrets. Remember that love is stronger than your regret.
How Long Should Your Dads Eulogy Be?
It’s can be very important to keep the eulogy under 10 minutes. If you are shaken up by grief, then standing up in front of a crowd for too long may make you lose your composure. Must funeral services are also time-constrained, so you want to be aware of that. Nobody is perfect and your father was no exception, but you loved him and that’s all that matters.
You can conclude by appreciating everyone present and saying how honored your father would have felt if he were there. When delivering a eulogy, try not to make any eye contact with the audience as that might break your composure. Try looking directly above everyone’s head. I am sorry for your loss. Death truly is unfortunate and unfair.