Grumpy grandad

Grumpy Grandad Poem Lyrics

Grand-daughter of the Painted Nails
As if they had been dipped in gore
I’d like to set you lugging pails
And make you scrub the kitchen floor
I’m old and crotchety of course
And on this point my patience fails
I’d sue my old girl for divorce
If she showed up with painted nails

Grand-daughter of the Painted Nails
Like to a Jezebel are you
Do you expect to snare the males
With talons of such bloody hue?
I could forgive your smudging lips
Your scarlet cheek that powder veils
But not your sanguine finger-tips
Don’t paw me with your painted nails

Grand-daughter of the Painted Nails
Were I the sire of maidens ten
I’d curse them over hills and dales
And hold them to the scorn of men
If they had claws of crimson dye
Aye, though they sang like nightingales
Unto the welkin I would cry
“Avaunt, ye hags with Painted Nails!”